AUGUST 18TH, 2025

Photo by: Air Rus for Pexels.com
One of the most pivotal points in my recovery was learning about living in alignment with my values rather than reacting impulsively or compulsively to my emotions and intrusive thoughts. After I discovered this new way of life, I went on my phone and wrote down my values. I wanted to be someone who valued discipline, courage, self-control, self-reliance, exploration, financial freedom, compassion, and the ability to face their fears.
I was tired of avoiding my triggers. The more I tried to escape from my triggers and obsessions, the more damaging and painful my compulsions became. However, I also felt intimidated by the distance between my values and the person I had become by unknowingly letting OCD misguide my life. Yet, I knew I had to commit to a change. If I kept avoiding fear and uncertainty, I would keep repeating this downward spiral until one of my numerous suicide attempts led to my passing or experiencing a significantly reduced quality of life. My values have been a powerful motivator and a luminescent North Star that allows me to bask in the light of uncertainty rather than cower to it.
​I also learned that you may never fully be in alignment with all of your values. To be perfect is not the goal. The goal is to never stop trying; the goal is not to quit on yourself, and if you even happen to do that, then dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and keep moving forward. A wise Japanese proverb states, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” As long as you are truly doing the work and making the sacrifices to bring you one step closer to your values, then you are on the right path.
I had to accept that I will never fully become the perfect person I once dreamed of; imperfections are always present. However, the more I act in line with my values, the prouder I become and the further I move from OCD’s hold.
I encourage you to identify what you value and to write it down. You should also take some time every week to check in and ask yourself if you are trying your best to act in accordance with your values or if you have fallen out of alignment with most of them. (However, it’s important to be aware that you are not compulsively checking if you are living according to your values. The values need to be a tool to help you lean into uncertainty, not to try to control or avoid it.)Â Lastly, if you realize you have strayed far from the path you want to be traversing in life, then perhaps you should try to identify what actions need to be done in order to align yourself more with that which you value.
Personally, I had to stop drinking alcohol and prioritize exercise and eating healthy again since I realized I valued being healthy, but when I was drinking alcohol excessively, I was damaging my body, mind, and spirit. The alcohol also made my OCD worse since it depleted my brain of dopamine and serotonin. In addition, it made it harder for me to control my impulses, so the more I drank, the more I engaged in compulsions throughout the week and the less I engaged in self-care. This cycle repeated for a couple of months until I realized that I could not control my drinking. If I had not taken a step back to realize that I was not living according to my values, this self-destructive, vicious cycle could have lasted for years.
I have now gotten into a routine of shadowboxing, stretching, hydrating, and eating a high-protein, low-fat diet. I find that the more I care for my physical health, the easier it is to stay focused despite my OCD. Even when my head is filled with racing, obsessive thoughts, I take a breath and I return to my routine as best as I can. In the process, I am accomplishing my goals despite the obstacles OCD tries to throw my way, and I gain a deeper sense of respect and compassion for myself. I have also developed a deep toolbox consisting of several sturdy, reliable tools that I can utilize whenever I need to cope with a particularly overwhelming OCD spiral or a depressive episode that feels earth-shattering.
​As you are trying to work towards your values, always treat yourself with kindness and mercy. The more hateful you are towards yourself then the less rewarding the process will be. Be honest, but don’t be disrespectful as you hold yourself accountable. This is a lifelong process, and the rewards (self-respect, self-reliance, self-compassion – just to name a few) are invisible, yet they can remain with you for years and potentially for the rest of your life.





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